Dating 101
By Kori Ashton

When you start dating and fall in love, it's natural to want to express your love in physical ways. However, you know it's not only healthy (keeping away from STD's) but it's also great in God's eyes to remain sexually pure—in both your actions and your thoughts. Sometimes it's a tough balance, but showing love for another and remaining pure is possible.

Here are some suggestions:

1) Keep innocent expressions special. Rather than making the innocent expressions a mere prelude to the "heavier stuff," make the most of them. Let holding hands mean something. Express tenderness by simply putting your arms around each other. Make sure a kiss communicates true feeling and isn't just the first step to further physical involvement.

2) Pace your passion. Every marathon runner knows that you don't use up your energy at the beginning of the race; you need most of it at the end. Pacing your passion means that you realize you're trying to remain pure all the way to your wedding day.(Yes you can have a wedding day as a gay or lesbian!) It's okay to express your love in little ways, but don't jump right to sex. Keeping things innocent will avoid possible hurtful baggage down the road. To get real practical, refrain from anything that is sure to ignite the fires of passion.

3) Don't feed your fantasies. It's normal to think about sex sometimes. In fact, with the way advertising and Hollywood exploit sex, it would be impossible not to think about it. So choose your entertainment carefully. Soap operas, certain songs, books, television shows, movies and web sites only turn up the pressure. Feeding your thought life with junk only makes it harder to remain pure in your actions.

4) Remember whose property you're touching. You do not own the person you're dating. That person belongs to God. Imagine there's a sign on everyone you date that reads: PROPERTY OF GOD.

5) Make a promise to God, and daily renew your commitment. Decide where you're going to draw the line, and tell God that with His help, you are not going to cross that line until marriage. Don't commit to it unless you mean it, though. The Bible says it's a serious thing to make a vow to God. At the same time, realize that you can't stick to your promise without His help. That's why it's important to renew your commitment daily.

6) Date someone going the same direction. There's nothing more difficult than dating someone who doesn't hold the same values as you. Don't lower your standards just to get someone's affection. It's going to be nearly impossible to keep a plan of action like these dating tips if your partner ignores your boundaries. Wait for the right person who will give back to you all the respect and love that you show them by wanting to have a healthy, committed relationship.

7) Agree on your standards. When you've found that right person, talk about your standards before sex becomes an issue in the relationship. Don't dwell only on the negative—what you won't do. Hebrews 10:24 tells us to "Encourage one another to outbursts of love and good deeds." Discuss ways your relationship can help each of you become a better person and ways to grow into a beautiful partnership together.

8 ) Don't always go it alone. Sure, you want to be alone with your date; that's only normal. Yet too much time alone can lead you to do things you'll regret later. Your relationship will be a lot healthier if you spend time with each other's families and friends.

9) Put real love first. Genuine love always respects the other person. It never says, "If you love me, you'll … " Real love says instead, "Since I care about you so much, I will respect you, treat you with kindness, and never ask you to do something you know or feel is wrong."

10) Declare a new beginning. If you think you've already given away too much, don't give up. The beauty of Christianity is that sins are forgiven and erased. You can start over today.

Dating 101 By Kori Ashton

Dating 101
By Kori Ashton